


i keep stumblin’ until i find (my way home)

by LessAttitudeMoreAltitude, stardustgirl



Series: No Need for Open Roads [5]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Alternate Universe - Western, American History, Angst, Blind Kanan Jarrus, California, Civil War, Cowboys & Cowgirls, Dysfunctional Family, Ezra Bridger Has PTSD, Family Bonding, Fluff, Gen, Growing Pains, Horses, Kanan Jarrus Has PTSD, Pack Family, Parental Kanan Jarrus, Platonic Cuddling, Platonically, Pony Express, Sharing a Bed, Sibling Bonding, Slang, Slice of Life, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Werewolves Turn Into Actual Wolves, it is very platonic I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24157054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LessAttitudeMoreAltitude/pseuds/LessAttitudeMoreAltitude, https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustgirl/pseuds/stardustgirl
Summary: It takes the three of them a while to get used to cohabitation (particularly with a couple of werewolves thrown into the mix), but it’s worth it in the end.A series of chronological oneshots of Sabine, Ezra, and Kanan adjusting to life with each other and the Express.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger & Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus & Ezra Bridger & Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus & Sabine Wren
Series: No Need for Open Roads [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730470
Comments: 19
Kudos: 82





	1. Blankets

**Author's Note:**

> There is a hunting scene in here, and though nothing is actually caught/harmed, I figure it's best to give a heads up regardless.

Ezra woke to an empty room and fur. He was more used to changing by now, so he simply burrowed deeper in the blankets. He curled up within the warmth, snuffling quietly. He still wasn’t sure if it was the part of him that was now a wolf, or just the part of him that had driven him to hide in the thicket when his parents were killed and he was bleeding out, but small, enclosed spaces always brought him a kind of peace. Under the lammies, he even started to drift off again, at least until he heard the door open.

“Kid?”

His tail thumped at Kanan’s voice and he returned to full wakefulness. Ezra tried to wriggle out from under the lammies, only to yelp as he got more tangled in them and tumbled onto the floor. Growling in frustration, he kept fighting the blankets until Kanan’s footsteps came closer and he pulled the two offenders loose. Ezra rose unsteadily before walking forward to lick Kanan’s hand in thanks. The man chuckled softly, scratching lightly behind Ezra’s ears before holding up the blankets. “You shredded this one again,” he said, sighing and tossing the unharmed lammy back on the bed. “C’mon. We can use it to rub down the horses.”

Ezra’s tail drooped, and he padded out of the bedroom behind Kanan. Sabine sat at the table and, it looked like, was in the middle of trying to fix something on one of the headstalls, so she didn’t see his ears flatten as Kanan dropped the blanket into the basket the one from last month was still in.

“You’re not in trouble, y’know.” Ezra’s head raised slightly at that, and Kanan offered a warm smile. “You just gotta remember that your claws _are_ kind of sharp.”

Ezra’s tail thumped again, and Kanan gestured toward the door. “Heard you change last night, so Sabine and I already ate. We’ve still got some, but...I remember you asked me about hunting the other day. Did you still want to?” Ezra’s eyes lit up and he tossed his head, chuffing happily. “Okay, kid. Sabine, we’ll be gone a while.”

“Okay,” she replied, not looking up from the headstall. She was still mad about Kanan’s declaration regarding the war.

Kanan shifted on the porch, nosing his clothes toward the door before hopping down and trotting off. Ezra followed, tail wagging as he ran through everything Kanan had told him the other day when Ezra first brought up hunting.

_“Stay downwind. You want its scent to come to you, not the other way around. And get as close as you can before you strike, too. But even with all that, you might slump. Slip-ups happen. And when they do, it’s best to stop the pursuit and reserve our energy.”_

Sure, mistakes happened. But he wouldn’t be making any, not today. He was going to prove himself.

Kanan halted once they were fairly far out into the forest, a small cluster of knobs beyond the treeline ahead of them. He turned to Ezra, inhaling deeply, and the younger wolf followed suit. A musky, pungent odor hit him, and he wrinkled his nose.

Kanan, of course, followed it.

Ezra did the same, stopping whenever Kanan did to get the trail back. Soon enough, Kanan was stopping him with a soft rumble that was barely more than a breath. Ezra obeyed, cocking his head until he heard it.

Grunts, accompanied by a faint rattling sound and the occasional snort. Ezra crept forward through the brush, belly to the ground, to see a pair of buck deer ramming their antlers against each other’s racks while another group of bucks watched on nearby, a couple within the larger group sparring as well.

Ezra turned toward Kanan, unable to help his tail’s slow wag across the ground. _Deer._ A whole _herd_ of them, and _bucks,_ too! And on his first real werewolf hunt!

But Kanan shook his head. Confused, Ezra shifted toward him, trying to keep his imploring whine quiet as he licked the older wolf’s chin. Kanan’s refusal was firm, though, and he moved his head down to keep Ezra from continuing his pleas.

_But I_ know _I can take it! Maybe...maybe I just have to_ show _him that I can._

He hesitated before turning away from the other wolf, crawling forward even as Kanan huffed warningly and tried to pin his tail down with a paw. Ezra merely shook it off, continuing forward.

And then the wind shifted.

He sensed it immediately, because the overwhelming stench of the deer suddenly became much less overbearing. He stopped, but it wasn’t enough. The bucks who weren’t actively locked into combat with each other raised their heads, nostrils flaring. Most of them bolted.

One, however, didn’t go with the others. Oh, it _did_ scoot.

It just scooted toward _Ezra._

He yelped, already scrambling to his feet and turning to cut dirt back toward Kanan as the furious buck snorted and began bounding toward the undergrowth the two wolves lay hidden in.

Kanan barked, the sound a sharp, warning call, and it caused the buck to slow. The effect was temporary, but it was enough for Ezra to get out of his immediate path and to start following Kanan away from the danger zone. The buck continued stampeding in their general direction, antlers low as it sighted Ezra. He whimpered, speeding up until he and Kanan finally reached a creek. Kanan barked again as he splashed through, giving Ezra the extra push he needed to follow.

The buck, surprisingly, didn’t follow them through. Ezra knew they could go through water and they had no qualms about doing so; he’d _seen_ them do it. But maybe it just realized two wolves weren’t worth the effort. He hesitated once they were on the opposite side of the bank, turning to see the deer retreating to the rest of its herd. Ezra let out a shuddering breath.

Kanan chuffed, nudging Ezra with a paw before turning and heading deeper into the forest. The younger wolf followed, tail hanging low and ears halfway back. They reached the house soon enough, Phantom whinnying shrilly to announce their return. Kanan picked up the bundle of clothes on the porch in his mouth, retreating toward the stable to shift back while Ezra merely sat on the porch, howling for Sabine and pawing at the door. It took a moment, which included another howl and more pawing, but she finally obliged, raising an eyebrow as he trotted inside.

“Where’s Kanan?”

He chuffed, shaking himself off and moving toward the fireplace. It was empty, the coals long since gone cold, but he laid there often enough when he was changed that it was the familiarity of it more than the warmth he desired. He curled up, facing the door despite his worries about Kanan’s reaction to how he had botched their hunt and nearly gotten them both killed.

The man in question walked in just then, human once more. “That was a fast hunt,” Sabine remarked dryly.

“We ran into some complications,” Kanan said, not elaborating. Despite that, Ezra couldn’t help a low whine as he lowered his gaze.

Kanan approached him, crouching, and Ezra rolled onto his back and whined again, licking at Kanan’s wrist as the man scratched behind his ears. “Cub, you know I don’t blame you, right? It was your first time. You were bound to mess up.” He whined again and Kanan sighed, shifting to sit all the way.

_I was just trying to be good, to make you_ proud.

Kanan continued scratching his ears, and Ezra found himself flopping over onto his side, exhaling contentedly.

“I _do,_ however, need you to stop tearing up the blankets.” Ezra huffed, and even Sabine couldn’t help a snort despite her apparent decision to ignore Kanan.

That night, when he and Kanan were going to bed again—with one blanket tonight instead of two because Kanan had miscalculated just how bad Ezra’s claw problem was going to be and the younger wolf had ripped up another one while just getting _on_ the letty—Ezra found himself trying to stay as still as possible, even more so than on human nights.

His claws were an issue, there was no beating the devil around the stump. He couldn’t hunt, either. But it was the first one that directly affected them, directly lost them money. That was the one that was going to get him kicked out the fastest.

He couldn’t help a low whine at the thought, and he thought it quiet enough to escape Kanan’s notice, but apparently not. The man shifted into his wolf form and nudged his clothes off the letty before finding Ezra’s scruff, lightly grooming him until Ezra found himself finally settling down into a fitful sleep.

And if they woke up the next morning with a few less scratches in the sheets from his transformation than normal, neither mentioned it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slang
> 
> Lammy: blanket  
> Knob: round hill  
> Scoot: to run fast  
> Cut Dirt: to run fast  
> Letty: bed  
> Beating the Devil Around the Stump: beating around the bush, ignoring the problem


	2. Fetching

He padded after Sabine as she entered the stables, lying on a pile of straw that the newest horse, a dark roan, was trying to reach over his stall door. He snorted angrily at Ezra but the wolf’s ear barely twitched as he watched Sabine. She lugged the wheelbarrow over to the empty stall beside the roan, throwing the gate open and using the wheelbarrow to hold it in place. She pulled the pitchfork over and started shoveling the manure out of the stall and into the wheelbarrow.

Ezra found himself nearly dozing off until there was a sudden squeal and he raised his head again, watching as Sabine backed the wheelbarrow up and moved to go dump it out back. Ezra got to his feet, stretching before following her out. She stopped at the edge of the growing manure pile—Ezra vaguely realized they’ll have to spread it again soon, but that was a problem for when he was human once more—and tipped the barrow, dumping it and shaking the rest out. Ezra watched until she finished before following her back into the barn, taking up his place on the straw once more.

“Don’t you have some sort of wolf thing to go do?” she asked, shooting him a glance as she speared a pile of dirty straw. He shook his head, scratching at his ear with a hind paw before lying down again. Sabine sighed and continued mucking the stall out.

He was barely into his nap when a sudden cry of frustration hit him and he jolted awake, hackles rising until he saw Sabine staring at a now-broken pitchfork. He wasn’t sure how she broke it, but he knew it was a somewhat normal occurrence, even if it didn't happen much.

Thankfully, Kanan had a backup somewhere. He woofed quietly to get her attention before rising, shaking himself off and moving toward the corner of supplies near the tack hooks. She followed as he nosed at a pile of tools, tail wagging slowly as she stooped to grab the spare pitchfork.

“Thanks Ezra,” she said, smiling. His tongue lolled out of his mouth and his tail wagged again in reply as she turned her gaze back to the broken pitchfork. “What should I do with this one?”

In answer, he led Sabine to the firewood pile he and Kanan had slowly been amassing over the past several months. She nodded in thanks, tossing the pieces onto the pile.

And something in Ezra screamed at him to _go get it._

He bolted for the pile, snapping at the broken handle of the pitchfork and grabbing it in his mouth before trotting back over to Sabine, tail wagging in contentment.

“No, Ezra, leave it over there. Why would I want it _back?_ ”

He whined indignantly at that, but gave it to her when she reached for it. She tossed it back onto the pile.

And his senses snapped into overdrive again.

He got it within seconds that time, and this time when Sabine reached for it, he backed away and growled playfully. She would just take it, and this time he didn’t think she would throw it. It was _his_ stick. After all, _Ezra_ was the one who went and got it.

Sabine sighed, scratching the back of her neck before shrugging. “Whatever. I’m gonna go finish the stall.”

She headed inside the stable and Ezra hesitated only a moment before following, tail still wagging. Maybe she would throw it again.

She didn’t, merely sighing as he stood at her knee and whined pitifully. She kept shoveling with the new pitchfork, but he _had_ one and it was _right there_ and ready to throw! He pawed at her leg, trying to get her attention again, and Sabine abruptly dropped the pitchfork and threw her hands up in frustration.

“Okay, do you want me to throw it?! Is that it?!” He barked around the wood, glad they were finally on the same page. She reached for the stick and he backed away for a moment before rethinking his decision and taking a step forward. He let her take it, already vibrating in anticipation as she raised it and walked to the back of the barn. “You want it, puppy? Go get it!”

She shied it and he scrambled after it, catching sight of its landing. It hit a tree and bounced off, landing in the sagebrush. He pushed through the dry grass to grab it, chuffing happily as he turned to bring it back to Sabine. On his way back, however, he hesitated by the manure pile. He vaguely remembered rolling in other animals’ scents on his way west. It had mostly been an effort to hide his own smell so nothing else would find him, or find the small bag he’d salvaged from the wreckage before his first shift. Ezra didn’t have that bag with him now, but he _did_ have a stick...a stick he wanted no one else to have….

* * *

When Ezra trotted into the house several hours later, broken pitchfork handle in his mouth and tail wagging wildly, Kanan immediately rose from where he was cleaning a bit at the table and escorted Ezra back outside.

“Ugh, what’d you roll in, kiddo?”

Sabine emerged onto the porch a moment later, gagging. “Ezra, you _stink!_ And is that _horse poop_ you’re covered in?!”

Ezra barked happily in affirmation. Now they wouldn’t want to steal his stick!

Sabine pinched her nose, shaking her head in disgust as Kanan nudged him down the porch steps. “Go rinse off in the creek, pup. You’re not coming in the house covered in... _that._ ”

Ezra grumbled, hesitating only a moment longer before hopping off the porch and heading out toward the creek, pitchfork handle still carried proudly in his mouth.

That was the first—and only—night Kanan wouldn’t let him share the letty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slang
> 
> Shied: thrown  
> Letty: bed


	3. Knots

Sabine was laying out some hay in the pen for the two Express mounts that were currently staying at the station as Ezra led Phantom out to a picket pin behind the stable to let her graze separately. It didn’t take long for Sabine to get the horses settled in for the afternoon. As she patted her hands clean, she noticed Ezra was still at the picket pin, staring at the lead rope like it was some foreign entity. 

With a slight frown, she walked over to him. “Hey kid? Everything alright?”

Ezra flinched and looked over at her. “Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine.”

His tone suggested everything was  _ not _ fine. He sounded oddly nervous. Sabine pulled her shoulders back and crossed her arms. “Kid, you’re a terrible liar.”

Ezra's shoulders slumped. “Yeah, that’s what Kanan says,” he murmured, glancing down at the rope. Finally he gave a tired sigh. “I’m just worried about Phantom getting loose again.”

Sabine raised an eyebrow. “Well, she won’t get loose if you stop stalling and tie her to the pin.”

Ezra cringed. “That’s the problem… When I tied her to this pin  _ last _ time, she got loose. I noticed before Kanan found out, but I don’t want it happening again.” He pressed his lips together. “I guess I can just hold her lead for the afternoon.”

Sabine rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. What kind of knot did you use?”

Ezra looked at her with a frown. “What do you mean?”

She pointed at the pin. “The last time you tied Phantom here. What knot did you use?”

He shifted his shoulders, fiddling with the end of the lead. “Well, I threaded it through the hole and then I twisted it around itself and through the hole again…”

Sabine blinked at him hard. “You have no idea how to tie a proper knot, do you?”

“Yes I do! I tie stuff to her rig just fine whenever I get supplies.” 

“And what kind of knots do you use for that?”

“I do the same thing. I just keep twisting until the bags don’t fall.”

“ _ O tian na _ …” Sabine said exasperatedly. “You really don’t know anything about knots.” She grabbed the lead from him. “Look, for tying up horses, there are a couple you should know. I’m gonna show you how to tie a square knot.”

“A-A what?”

This time she just chuckled. The kid really was clueless and apparently unwilling to ask for help. At least from Kanan. “Here, let me show you.” She took the end of the lead rope and threaded it through the hole in the picket pin. “So for a square knot you want to cross and twist it over itself like this.” 

Ezra leaned in closer, his eyes surveying her work carefully. It was a simple twist, but Ezra’s focus was so intense that one would think she was teaching him how to disassemble and clean a peacemaker. She leaned back a little to give him a clearer view. It was obvious that Ezra had no experience with these kinds of practical skills. 

“Now, I twisted it so the end was the one that went over, so you’re going to want to make sure it’s the end that goes over when you twist it over again.” She demonstrated the completion of the knot. “This one’s designed so that if the horse pulls it only gets tighter.” 

“Okay,” Ezra frowned slightly looking at the knot closely.

With a small smile, she undid the knot and handed him the rope. “Try it out yourself. It’s not that hard.”

“Oh um…” He took the rope and stared at it blankly. “Okay…” He twisted it around itself, then held the end of the lead hopelessly for the second step. 

Sabine walked around so she could see the knot from his perspective as well. “Okay, you see how the end went over?” She reached over and traced a finger over the part she was talking about.

A shiver ran through Ezra’s body, and she saw the skin on his neck darken slightly. She realized this might be the first time he had ever been close to a woman’s body. She took a small step back. “You’re going to want to put the end up and over the loop again.” 

Ezra relaxed again, giving a shaky nod. “R-Right…” He grabbed the end of the lead and looked at the initial twist closely as he figured out where exactly he should thread it. Before he tightened it, he glanced up at Sabine for approval.

She nodded. “Yeah looks good.”

Ezra gave a big smile as he tightened the knot and stepped over to pat Phantom’s neck. “Thanks, Sabine.”

“Of course. But that’s just one knot. If you’re going to really help around here, you’re going to need to learn more.”

He shot her a slight glare. “I’m helping out just fine! Besides, I’ve been here longer than you!”

“Kid, you’ve lived here for… what, half a year? And you didn’t even know how to tie a horse to a pin?”

Ezra’s shoulders fell slightly. “I’m… good at other things. Kanan showed me how to tack up a horse and muck out the stables… and I’m  _ way _ better at cleaning than he is.”

“He’s blind, that’s not exactly an accomplishment,” she said dryly. “Anyway, why didn’t you just ask Kanan how to tie up Phantom properly?”

“You know I don’t like being a  shlep .” Ezra continued stroking Phantom’s neck as he spoke. “And the last thing I want is for him to find out I accidentally let Phantom wander loose before.”

Sabine hummed. She didn’t think Kanan would care all that much. He was fairly laid back and had a habit of doting on this kid. But Ezra’s always been worse than a cat in a roomful of rockers. Despite living here for months, the kid seemed convinced that it was only a matter of time that Kanan would kick him out. She supposed Ezra had a right to be concerned. If by some chance Kanan  _ did _ tell him to hit the road, Ezra had  _ zero _ life skills. How he had survived on his own before was a mystery.

But now, there was a way to change that. “Well the horses are settled for now. You want me to teach you a few more other knots?”

Ezra looked over at her in surprise. “What for?”

“You wanna stay above snakes out here in the West? Knots are a basic skill you need to know. So, you wanna learn or not?”

He still seemed surprised, but he gave a small smile. “Sure… if you don’t mind,” he added quickly.

“I offered, didn’t I?” Sabine turned and headed back to the stables. “Let’s grab some rope. Next knot I’ll teach you is the slipknot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slang notes: 
> 
> peacemaker: colt revolver  
> worse than a cat in a roomful of rockers: nervous


	4. Burying

“Kanan, this has gotta be the worst soft tack I’ve ever even laid _eyes_ on,” Sabine said, deadpan even as she gagged dramatically. Ezra grumbled quizzically from his spot by the fireplace, raising his head as Sabine broke off a piece of the bread to show him. “Look. Rock hard. I’m not sure how you managed to burn it so bad. I wouldn’t feed this to my _dog—_ no offense, Ezra.” He huffed, not offended at the dog comment but rather at the fact she was insulting Kanan’s cooking. Okay, yeah, the guy couldn’t cook. Or bake. At all. But it was _Kanan._ You didn’t just say that to _Kanan._ Or at least _Ezra_ didn’t. Kanan took him in, even when he had no reason to, even though Ezra was infringing on his territory. He couldn’t just let her insult his cooking like that (even if it _was_ true).

Huffing again, Ezra got to his feet, shaking himself before padding toward the door. He whined, pawing at it and waiting until Kanan walked over to open it before he slipped out and onto the porch.

He put his nose to the wood, sniffing. Finding the scent trail, Ezra couldn’t help a slow swish of his tail as he followed it, reaching its end at a fencepost of the round pen. Grumbling, he pushed himself up onto his hind legs, bracing himself against the fence with one paw for stability as he tried to push the object off the fence with his other paw. It took several tries, but he succeeded, and he hopped down to gingerly pick the object up.

Thankfully, it was still wrapped in the length of cloth Sabine usually tucked it into. He _did_ want to get back at her, but he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of slicing up his gums to do so, even if they would heal soon. He only wanted to teach her a lesson for insulting Kanan’s cooking if it meant he would still be able to talk.

He trotted away from the fence with her knife, taking it to the sparse sagebrush behind the house. A pair of Express mounts, both familiar, raised their heads from their grazing to snort and toss their heads at his passing, but he paid them no mind. He continued until he reached a spot by the rocks where the dirt was less firm.

And then he began to dig.

* * *

“Ezra?”

The distant shout reached him and he stopped halfway through filling the hole, turning. Ezra cocked his head as Kanan called him again before turning back to the dirt, continuing to fill it as Kanan’s scent got stronger.

Kanan reached him just as he finished, Ezra happily trotting away from the hole. He wasn’t sure _why_ he was so happy about it, but he did have to admit that he wanted to see Sabine’s reaction.

“There you are, cub. What were you doing out here?”

Ezra only yipped, trotting past Kanan. He reached the house, whining and pawing at the door until Sabine opened it. She wrinkled her nose as he padded in.

“You’re super dirty. Did you take a mud bath?”

He nodded eagerly, mouth open as his tongue lolled out. The girl rolled her eyes, turning back as Kanan entered. “Kid went and rolled in the dust.”

“Of course he did,” Kanan sighed.

He walked to the table, grabbing something wrapped in fabric off of it. Ezra’s ears swiveled forward at the sight and he padded closer, sniffing.

“Here, kid.” Kanan unwrapped it fully, balling the fabric up in a hand before displaying a bone. Ezra had no clue what animal it came from, but regardless, he began to salivate. He barked, dropping his weight onto his front end into a play bow as Kanan tossed the bone to him.

Ezra snapped it out of the air, parading around the room with it for a moment before heading toward the fireplace. He laid down in front of the hearth, dropping the bone onto the floor only to pin it down with a paw and begin to chew.

Sabine passed him, walking to her room. Ezra quickly dropped the bone, nudging it away from him. Kanan had assured him that it was normal for a wolf his age, healthy even, but he still felt self-conscious about Sabine seeing him do it. She didn’t comment, though, so he continued gnawing on it until Kanan finally stood, stretching.

“It’s latish, cub. Let’s head to bed. Shake yourself off first; if you really had a dust bath I don’t want that getting in the blankets.” Ezra grumbled out of habit more than any actual reluctance and rose, stretching and shaking himself before picking up the bone and trotting after Kanan. His claws clicked on the wood as he slipped into the room. He tucked his bone under the bed, then laid down to wait as Kanan shifted and hopped onto the letty first. The older wolf circled before settling and Ezra followed suit, pressing himself against Kanan’s fur as he drifted off.

* * *

The next evening, Ezra was human again and they were all relaxing around the hearth, Ezra attempting to learn how to tie knots under Sabine’s tutelage as Kanan did...something. Ezra tried to slowly inch his chair over to see, but Sabine cleared her throat and pointed to the center of his knot.

“I’m gonna go grab my knife. I’ve been trying to untie this for two whole minutes now, Ezra, and somehow you’ve still got it tied too tight.” He nodded.

“Sorry.”

Sabine shrugged. “It’s fine. I’ll be right back. Practice your bowline more on the other rope.” She rose, leaving, and Ezra returned his focus to the catgut.

A few minutes later, there was a loud cry of frustration as the door slammed open and Sabine stormed in. “What’s wrong?”

“My _knife!_ It’s not on the fence post where I left it!”

Ezra flinched sharply. Kriff. He had forgotten about the knife.

He slowly got to his feet and started to slip away toward his and Kanan’s room.

“Ezra?”

He stopped at Kanan’s voice, frozen.

“Do you have something you’d like to share?”

He shook his head quickly.

“ _Ezra._ ”

He hesitated only a moment longer before sighing, ducking his head and turning back to the others. Sabine was glaring at him, arms crossed while Kanan remained still in his seat.

“Do you know where my knife is, kid?” He hesitated again.

“Yeah,” he said finally.

Sabine sighed. “Where?”

In answer, he started toward the door.

He led them around the back and grabbed a shovel as they went, flinching when he heard Kanan stumble and curse in the growing darkness. He started sniffing as they drew closer to the place he buried it and he stopped, digging the shovel into the dirt and inhaling. The smell hit him.

This was it.

It took much less time now that the dirt had already been churned up, so he turned back to Sabine and Kanan with the still-wrapped knife in hand, shovel cast aside, only a few minutes later.

Sabine took it, sighing, and brushing the fabric off. “I’ll take a better look when we’re inside,” she muttered to herself.

“Ezra, can you fill the hole so the horses don’t get stuck?”

He nodded in reply to Kanan, turning to fill the hole again as the others returned inside. He headed back to the porch when he was done, stepping into the house quietly.

“I think you owe an apology to someone, pup.” Ezra winced but turned to Sabine, approaching her slowly. She sat at the table, trying to clean the dust off of her knife and its fabric and ignoring the ropes nearby. He cleared his throat, waiting for her to acknowledge him. Finally, Sabine sighed, setting the knife down and glancing up at him.

“Why’d you do that?”

“I’m...not sure. You, uh...you said you didn’t like Kanan’s cooking, so I guess it just felt right.” He shrugged.

“Burying—and stealing, for that matter—tend to be a part of how a pup grows,” Kanan said, sighing. “As frustrating as that is, it’s how he solves problems right now.”

She hummed in thought before sighing again. “It’s not nicked or anything, so it's okay. Just...don’t do that again. Okay?”

Ezra nodded fervently. “I won’t.” He could keep that promise. He wouldn’t get in trouble again. He’d be _perfect._

“Alright, kid. That’s enough,” she said, smiling. She returned her attention to the gut lines and gestured, and Ezra accepted the invitation and sat once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sabine, actually starting to lose the edge on her anger? it's more likely than you'd think !
> 
> Slang
> 
> Soft Tack: bread  
> Latish: rather late  
> Letty: bed  
> Catgut: rawhide rope  
> Gut Lines: rawhide rope


	5. Stargazing

Ezra walked in a tight circle several times before curling up on the ground, wrapping his tail loosely over his nose as he watched the fire crackle before them. Kanan and Sabine’s voices provided a nice background to the crackling of the sticks and the hum of cicadas, and he found himself relaxing. It was nice out here at night, now that he wasn’t playing a lone hand and on the run from the stationkeeper who’d tried to shoot him all those months ago.

And then Kanan’s hand found his scruff and started to stroke the thick fur there.

He stiffened, tensing as a low growl pushed at his throat, but he quickly recognized the motion as actually really soothing. The tension left and he rolled over slightly, whining until Kanan got the hint and started scratching him. His leg started thumping against the ground erratically with the extra energy.

“You realize how _weird_ that would look to anyone who only knows him as a human, right?”

Kanan laughed at the remark. “He’s a wolf right now. And if he didn’t want me to, I’d stop.” Ezra yipped at that, shifting closer to nudge Kanan’s hand again until the scratches returned. His tail thumped happily against the ground and Sabine couldn’t help chuckling. “C’mere, come pet him.”

She hesitated for a moment but rose, approaching and sitting next to Ezra. She started scratching behind his ears and he chuffed happily. He shifted to rest his head on her leg, and she made a sound of surprise at the movement.

“Your head’s a lot heavier than it looks, kid.”

“He’s a wolf,” Kanan replied, and Ezra nuzzled Sabine at that. She laughed softly, scratching behind his ear again.

The wind shifted and Ezra caught a new scent on it. He whined, rolling over to sit up before pawing at Kanan. The man sniffed the air before glancing at Sabine.

“There’s a rider coming. I’d do it, but it’s too dark for me by now. We got the roan tacked earlier so he should be still in his stall, but—“

“I got it,” Sabine cut him off, rising. “I’ll be back soon.”

She headed off and Ezra watched her disappear into the trees.

Midnight came before she returned and Kanan passed him his clothes. Ezra murmured a quiet thank you before slipping away into the woods to dress. He returned to the fire the same time Sabine did, the rider apparently already switched to a new horse and seen off, and he found a seat on the same log as Kanan.

“It’s midnight, then?” Sabine asked, sitting on the ground in the same spot she’d moved to when Ezra was still a wolf. The younger teen nodded. “Here, wait, we can see the stars better now. They always look best in the middle of the night.”

She raised a hand, pointing to the sky between the trees. “Look, there’s Pegasus.” Ezra and Kanan both looked up. Ezra moved to sit next to Sabine to see her trace the constellation with a finger. “It’s a square, see? There’s the head if you follow that star, and the legs there….”

She continued tracing out the constellations before Kanan cleared his throat. Both teens turned to glance at him.

“Could you, ah...explain what they look like, beyond just lines? I...haven’t been able to see any of that for years.”

Ezra nodded eagerly. “Yeah. The Pegasus one is like a square, like he’s flying upside down. He’s the winged horse. And then there’s Capricorn, he’s the...Sabine, what did you say that one was?”

“A goat with a fish tail.”

There was dead silence for a moment before the three burst out laughing. Finally Kanan got a hold of himself enough to say, “I’m gonna shift. I might be able to see them at least a bit that way.”

Sabine nodded, and Kanan changed into his wolf form, walking over to Ezra and Sabine and laying down between them. He rolled over onto his back, chuffing quietly as Ezra started to lightly scratch his stomach.

“Sabine, what’s the next one?”

“There’s Andromeda.”

Ezra picked out the stars as she pointed to them, and then quietly told Kanan where it was.

“What’s the story with that one?”

Sabine was silent for a moment before answering. “She was a princess, but her dad made the gods angry. So he had to sacrifice her to save everyone else from getting eaten by a dragon. But then some guy, a demigod I think, came and saved her. And then he married her because the dad just said he could or whatever.” She paused for a moment, sighing and pushing hair out of her face before adding quietly, “I don’t like the stories behind most of them.”

“Oh.”

Kanan was silent, too, his tail having stopped its slow wagging.

Finally Sabine cleared her throat, pointing to another cluster of stars. “See that weird circle one? That’s the head of Pisces. He’s a fish.”

“My mom used to call that one Dagim.”

Sabine continued with the rest of the constellations, and all was peaceful until Kanan suddenly rolled over and sat upright. He nudged Ezra, sniffing the air. Ezra followed his example.

“There’s a rider,” he said suddenly.

“But the last one just barely—“

“I know. But we should go anyway. It might be an emergency. Sabine, you start heading over, I’ll stay with Kanan to help him walk over without dying.”

She nodded and rose, starting the short trek back to the house while Ezra turned away to allow Kanan privacy to shift and dress. The pair then headed after Sabine.

She had an older Express mount out and was in the process of lifting a saddle onto the buckskin when they arrived. Ezra rushed over to help, bridling the mare once Sabine pulled the cinch tight.

Ezra was sliding the throatlatch into its keeper when the rider cantered up, his horse snorting as its sides heaved. Sabine took the reins of it as Ezra walked the buckskin over.

“Wait, where’s the mail?” he asked as they reached the horse. The new rider shook his head as he dismounted.

“No mail. Just news.”

“What news?” Kanan asked, suspicion strong in his voice.

The man inhaled sharply as he checked the girth on the horse and mounted up. “The Express is closing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slang
> 
> Playing a Lone Hand: doing something alone


	6. Changes

“So… what’s going to happen to us now?” 

They were all sitting around the small dining table, eating at their usual doughgods with Texas butter Sabine whipped up every morning. Today was officially the first day after the Pony Express had closed. 

Kanan turned his head slightly towards Sabine at her question. “Well, even though the Express has shut down, I own this land and Phantom. We’ll figure it out.”

Sabine rolled her eyes in frustration. “Yes, that’s why I asked. I want us to _figure it out_. It’s been almost a month since we learned that the Express is closing, and we haven’t done anything about it! We have three mouths to feed and our income has suddenly dried up. We were already stretched thin as it is…”

“I survived before the Pony Express, we’ll survive just fine now that it’s gone.”

“ _How_ exactly?” Sabine pressed. She was really tired of these non-answers.

“Well…” Kanan hummed thoughtfully. “I might be blind but I still know how to ride. I can start offering lessons in town. Worse comes to worse, we can hunt.”

Ezra - who had been nervously poking at his food - suddenly froze. She assumed he was remembering the disaster of their last hunt as werewolves. 

“Not just as wolves,” Kanan said pointedly, turning his face towards Ezra. “We can set up traps for smaller game. If we clean them properly, we can sell the furs in town as well.”

Sabine gave a small smile at that. “I know a thing or two about traps. But that alone probably won’t be enough for us…”

“I can try to supplement it by hunting on my own. It’ll have to do. At least until we can figure out something else.”

At this point, Ezra had abandoned his meal, his spoon on the table and his hands in his lap. “What about me?” he asked quietly.

Sabine frowned at him. “What about you?”

“What can _I_ do?” He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I don’t know anything about traps. And I can’t hunt…”

Sabine snorted. “You can _learn_. Traps aren’t too difficult. I can show you a thing or two.”

“And you can still hunt in human form,” Kanan said. “I can’t because…” He waved a hand in front of his grey eyes. “But I do have a rifle. I can show you the basics.”

“You should know how to handle a gun anyway,” Sabine added, patting the revolver she always had strapped to her thigh. 

“And if I'm not mistaken, you’ll be shifting tonight,” Kanan said. “Today you can learn the basics of firearms. Tomorrow we can practice hunting some larger game as a pack.”

Ezra gave a smile at that, his back straightening. “Oh yeah! That sounds perfect. I won’t let you down.”

Kanan’s eyes softened. “I know, kid. Don’t stress it. Remember, most hunts fail.”

Sabine rolled her eyes as Ezra nodded eagerly. When it came to Kanan, Ezra was a biddable mongrel prancing after his owner. The kid really was like a puppy, even in his human form. “Well for today, you should probably start with the rifle,” she said. “It’s easier to aim, which is obviously critical when hunting game.”

Ezra nodded eagerly again. “Okay.” He started to shovel in his breakfast to prepare for the day. At least he was eating. The kid had a tendency to undereat for fear of imposing on Kanan’s supplies. He was a complete lunk head. 

After she finished her own breakfast, she went into her room and laid out a cloth on the small table Kanan had built her. She removed her revolvers from their holsters and began to disassemble them to be cleaned. 

It was when she was about done with the first revolver that there was a knock on her door. “Yeah?” she said absentmindedly. 

The door opened, and Kanan walked in holding an old rifle. “I could smell the oil,” he said. “Would you mind cleaning her out before we show Ezra how to use it?”

“Of course.” Sabine got up and took the rifle from him. It had a bit of dust on it and spots of rust on it, clearly not in any regular use. “What are you doing with this anyway?” she asked, gazing up at the scars that marred his face. She knew he could see vague shapes, but there was no way that was enough for him to hunt with a rifle. 

“I’ve had it since before I was blinded,” Kanan said flatly.

She looked it over more closely. It took a moment for her to recognize it as a Model 1841 Mississippi rifle. Bit old-fashioned at this point and rarely seen out here in the West. By the looks of the v-notch sight, this was the initial US military standard model. What was Kanan doing with a military rifle?

He gave her shoulder a pat, as he turned to walk out. “Thanks, Sabine.” 

“Kanan, wait…”

He paused, turning his pale eyes towards her. “Yes?”

Sabine bit her lip. Curiosity told her to ask about the weapon. While his age was hard to judge from the scarring, he didn’t seem _that_ old to her. This, combined with the fact that sometimes she could hear an old accent drip through his voice - particularly when he was tired - only formed a nebulous picture of his early life. 

Then again, was it really important? It’s not like her childhood had any bearing on her life in the here and now. So she just placed the rifle on the table. “This rifle’s in pretty bad shape. I’m going to have to go into town to get more oil. Probably going to take me most of the day to finish cleaning her.”

“Hmm, I was afraid of that. Well, we can teach Ezra after the new moon passes then.”

“I could probably have it ready by tomorrow, though,” Sabine added. “Don’t suppose there’s anyway _I_ could help with the hunt?”

Kanan gave a small smile. “I appreciate the thought, but hunting as a wolf pack is not quite the same as hunting with a gun.”

“Well, even so, I could just in another direction and hunt on my own.”

“No,” Kanan immediately replied. “I don’t want you hunting on your own. If you get hurt, there’ll be no way for us to know or help you.”

She rolled her eyes at that. “You know I survived just fine on my own long before I stumbled into you.”

“Sabine, when we met, you were _stealing_ from us,” he replied with a small chuckle. “Have you ever _actually_ hunted with a lone hand?”

She pressed her lips together. Technically she’s never actually hunted down game with a gun before, but how hard could it be?

Kanan sighed at her lack of response. “Just stay at the station tomorrow while we’re out,” he said. “Take care of Phantom. Get working on those traps. Take care of any straggling riders that might still be riding through.”

Sabine pursed her lips, but knew she was in no position to argue. She _had_ said she would work on traps, and it would be irresponsible to leave the station and Phantom abandoned for a full day. “Alright,” she replied. “But the next hunt you go on, I’m coming with.”

Kanan smiled and patted her shoulder. “Sounds like a deal.” With that, he left the small bedroom and closed the door, leaving Sabine with the not insignificant task of bringing this rifle back to proper working order.

“Alright…” she murmured to herself as she sat back down. Pulling out her screwdriver, she looked the weapon over. “Let’s see what we’ve got…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slang notes:
> 
> doughgods: biscuits  
> Texas butter: gravy  
> lunk head: idiot  
> with a lone hand: alone


	7. Pack

It was the middle of the night. Ezra had already shifted into his wolf form and had stretched out in his sleep. His paws were pressing against Kanan’s back, rousing him from his sleep. Kanan blinked and gave a small smile as he turned over and gently smoothed a hand over snoozing pup’s side. His puppy fur was starting to disappear, replaced with the smoother and thicker adult coat. Ezra was still a bit small for his age, but he was certainly healthier than he had been when Kanan had first found him with a bad plum in his leg.

Now that he was awake, nature called. Kanan slowly got up from the bed, trying to keep from disturbing the boy. Once he was up, he stretched slightly before walking out to the necessary.

When he came back in with a yawn, he automatically turned an ear towards Sabine’s room, making sure she was sleeping peacefully. Kanan has often heard her at night pacing or fiddling with her latest contraption in her room. He never brought it up because, well, he’d be quite the hypocrite if he did.

But tonight her room was quiet, and he couldn’t see any blurred light coming from the direction of her room. It would seem that tonight was a relatively peaceful night for the three of them.

It made Kanan smile. It was strange to think about how much his life had changed in the last year. For so long, he was on his own. And it had suited him just fine. Earn enough chink to keep himself soaked and let the days just pass on by. Who knew the posting at this swing station would have landed him with a lycan pup and a grumpy adolescent gunslinger.

Kanan went back to the bedroom he and Ezra shared. He was about to crawl back into bed only to encounter a mass of warm fur. A low chuckle bubbled out of him as he realized that Ezra had shifted over to Kanan’s side of the letty in his sleep, curling up with his wolfy head on the pillow. He smoothed a hand over Ezra’s head, lightly rubbing his ear. The kid gave a soft sigh in his sleep, the sound filling Kanan's chest with warmth. Ezra had grown a lot in these last few months, and not just physically. He was slowly coming out of his skittish shell, learning from Kanan and Sabine, becoming a bit more at ease with his place here at the station.

Of course, with the Pony Express being shut down, their future was suddenly uncertain. It had obviously rattled Ezra, shaking his confidence. He might no longer be afraid that Kanan was going to kick him out at the slightest provocation, but Ezra’s need to be productive and useful had been insistent. Now that their lives were about to change, he was already scrambling for new ways to be useful.

And obviously it wasn’t just him. This was a big change for all of them, but at least Kanan was more than accustomed to tramping around from job to job. But Sabine was also clearly upset about this sudden change and Kanan’s reluctance to make solid plans going forward. It wasn’t what he was used to. Usually he just… went where the wind blew. But now he had these two teenagers in tow, a werewolf pup with low self-esteem and a rowdy kleptomaniac who craved both stability and independence.

Kanan smiled, standing back up and walking outside. Ezra could have the bed for now. Kanan would take a few moments for himself. He went out onto the porch, leaning against one of the posts with a sigh. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around himself as he enjoyed the chill fall air.

These two kids were a handful, but he couldn’t deny the positive change they have had on his life. He would have never guessed he would have ended up saddled with two kids like this, but with every day that passed, Kanan could feel the cold hole in his chest slowly being filled. It… was nice. He’s never felt this way before. Like he _belonged_ with these people.

He supposedly had felt like this once. With Depa. She was the first werewolf he had ever met. She had found him while he was trying to get himself recruited for the war. She had taken him in and taught him everything she knew about what he was. And they both snuck into the army together under the guise of a laconic man and his little brother. They fought fiercely together. They bonded on and off the battlefield.

Then that fateful battle in Los Angeles ripped her away from him. And cost him his sight.

He fled the war. He tried to find the remnants of Depa’s pack, but never found a trace. So he wandered aimlessly as a mudsill, doing all sorts of unsavory and undignified things to survive and earn enough coin to keep himself in a drunken haze. Years passed, and he learned to survive on his own in the wild, using the skills Depa had taught him. Soon he only had to work the occasional job for humans to keep himself properly soaked. Working here at this swing station was just another job.

Who knew that a couple of shavers would stumble into his care?

For the first time in years, he had made a connection with other people. He was caring for them, teaching them like how Depa had taught him. For the first time in his life… Kanan felt like he was part of an actual pack.

Kanan suddenly stood up straight in shock as the thought washed over him. Was that what Ezra and Sabine were to him? A pack? Part of a tiny… two lycan one human… pack?

And then all at once, his shock melted away and he gave a small chuckle to himself. Of _course_ they were a pack. It might just be the three of them, but having the two kids bicker underfoot, watching out for them, making sure they were safe… They bonded and looked out for each other. That was what a pack did.

Kanan wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that he was basically the pack _leader_ , but if that was his role, then by God, he would act accordingly. He wasn’t alone. He couldn’t just go where the wind took him. He needed to provide for his packmates, his pups. Starting tomorrow, he would do right by them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slang: 
> 
> the necessary: outhouse  
> chink: money  
> soaked: drunk  
> letty: bed  
> mudsill: low-life  
> shaver: young person


End file.
